I was paying very close attention to something and I didn’t notice that I farted until I smelled it and since I didn’t think it came out of me, I assumed that there was somebody else in my apartment so I got scared and called the police and now I’m in jail so will you please come get me as soon as you get this message?
“I came to the United States when I was 13 years old. For a long time, I didn’t have my immigration papers as they were being processed from 1995 until 2005. Many times, I walked down this street completely despondent and wondering what would become of me and what would happen. I walked around not feeling any connection because most people don’t get it—they don’t understand how hard it is.
I finally got my papers and graduated from this university behind me. Now I work as a software engineer. And I’m feeling a real sense of pride. I am here. I made it despite all the struggles. I guess that’s my story: I made it.”
I’m into girls who look like they’re good at sleeping.